so explain again why im purple
no
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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