Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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