8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Nicole vs. Life
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
