I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
