at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
