I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
