yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I have aggressive nipples.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
