I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
