Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
