that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
