More tranny stories later!
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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