No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize