Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
