apparently the secret to your success is patron
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
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