Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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