He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize