Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
