I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
