These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
