Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
