Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
