It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
