Where is the hickey?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
