One girl and one boy is just not enough.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
