So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
My dick has a subreddit
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
