I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize