i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
