I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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