i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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