He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Randomize