Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
