If i come over, it means nothing
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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