He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
