All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
