u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
