Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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