Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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