i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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