The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
