Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
