why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
