I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
