I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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