I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
