I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
