i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
