...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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