He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize