I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
