so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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