shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
