walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
