i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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