I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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