well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
