Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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