We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize