Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
