Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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