They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
