Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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