piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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