he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Floor bacon is actually really good
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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