Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize