Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
