Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize